Zsolt Németh
I have always been somewhat suspicious of people or organizations with no sense of humour. With the exception of puns and toilet jokes, a sense of humour is often a fairly reliable sign that a person (or collectively, an organization), commands an above room temperature IQ. Perhaps this apparent lack of humour has been at the root of my uneasiness with Jobbik & Co. However, I am the first to admit when I am wrong and it seems, like so many others, I have fallen into the trap of taking Jobbik seriously when it would appear they are simply struggling comedians in search of a stand-up routine.
During the last election when Jobbik’s head of PR had to resign after photographs emerged of him having a gay old time at Toronto’s Gay Pride festival, I took it seriously. I thought, “Seriously?”
When a Jobbick MP announced he was going to resign after it was discovered there was Jewish blood in his family (and therefore him), I took it seriously. I thought, “Seriously”?
Little did I know these events were Jobbik’s attempt to break into the crowded world of comedy.
Dying’s easy. Comedy’s hard.
It was only recently I realized they were joking. I came to this realization when Jobbik MP Zsolt Németh announced he was proposing to parliament that Hungary grant Edward Snowden political asylum. That’s when I realized Jobbik wasn’t serious, they were just having fun with us. For those not up on America’s most wanted, Snowden is at the top of the list. He is the computer programmer who blew the whistle on America’s covert activities on its own people and anyone else living and breathing on planet earth. There is a warrant for Snowden’s arrest on charges of espionage and other sundry offenses. At the time of this writing, Snowden remains in the transit area of the Moscow airport and Russia, never one to miss giving a back-hand to The United States, has refused to hand him over.
The thought of Hungary granting Snowden asylum is hilarious. Move over Saturday Night Live, here comes Jobbik! Can’t you just see the stand up comedy now? Maybe Jobbik & Co. are planning on doing a David Letterman-esque Top Ten Reasons Why Hungary Should Grant Snowden Asylum routine. I’ll play that game. Boy, who ever knew those Jobbik folks could be so much fun? I have totally misunderstood. OK, here they are:
1. Since everyone would be talking about it, now dumb blondes on game shows will know that Hungary is a country and not a physical craving for food.
2. No one will any longer think Bucharest is the capital of Hungary.
3. The Forint would tank again, just when speculators thought they was no more money to be made on Hungary’s demise.
4. Hungary could rescind the asylum and then sell Snowden in exchange for foreign aid, the same kind given to countries in Africa.
5. This would finally put Hungarian foreign policy on the world stage.
6. Hungary would now have a replacement for the Red Bull Air Show: watching American F-35s do low altitude fly-overs. Fully armed.
7. Snowden’s second cousin’s great great grandfather was 1/2 Hungarian so we wouldn’t be just giving him asylum but citizenship, too.
8. All the Americans would have to leave Hungary but we could keep all their money. Couldn’t we?
9. After the Americans leave we could nationalize McDonald’s and Burger King. And run them the same way we ran an airline.
10. Americans can’t get warships up the Danube so why not grant Snowden asylum?
11. Hungary can get cozy with Russian again.
12. Hungary needs to improve its IT capabilities. So why not start with the programmer Edward Snowden?
Yes, I know. I have stated twelve reasons for the Top Ten Reasons. Call it Jobbik math.
Seriously, folks.
Or is the joke that finally the US would take Hungary seriously? Giving Snowden asylum would show the Americans a thing or two, wouldn’t it? Or maybe the joke would be that Jobbik would see using Snowden as a bargaining chip for re-instating Hungary’s pre-Trianon borders. The comedy routines on Hungary offering Snowden asylum are almost endless. Kind of like Jobbik speeches at rallies.
One thing is certain: those wonderful folks at Jobbik & Co. sure know how to crack a joke. Or is it lay an egg?
Three Years on Mars 
There could be a 13th reason, William. in Hungary just like in (almost) every strategically placed small country, the political parties are controlled by foreign forces from strong countries. If you know who are using Snowden against the Obama administration, you can guess who are remote-controlling the Jobbik and making it declaring such stupid sounding things.