In the name of God

I receive emails from someone who feigns interest in my general well-being who begins many sentences with the words, “I pray…”. I know this to be a lie because I know this person. This person does not pray. This person does not believe in God. This person does not go to church. Why would you pray if you did not believe in God?

We often hear people say, “I pray to God….” and fill in the blank for some deeply felt wish or fear. That does beg the question: “to Whom or What are they praying”?

My convenient, for-Heaven’s-sake-why-get-out-of-your-chair-to-get-a-real-dictionary when you have a built-in Apple computer dictionary, correctly identifies the word ‘pray’ as a verb. It gives the following by way of definition: “1: Let us pray: say one’s prayers, make one’s devotions, offer a prayer/prayers. 2:  She prayed God to forgive her: invoke, call on, implore, appeal to, entreat, beg, petition, supplicate; literary beseech.

(“Beseech” is such a lovely word; so old-world formal, like much of the veneer covering the mechanisms of political change taking place in Hungary today. But I digress.)

Mother, Mary of God

Do colloquialisms have such a broad religious reference because the church was so engrained in society? I know there are many expressions in French based on the church and/or Christianity and both France and Quebec are Catholic-based societies. Tabernac! Does Magyar have it’s sampling of church or Christian-based expressions?

God only knows.

Let’s get back to the business of praying (and it certainly has proven to be good business for some. If you get the chance, view the art collection in the Vatican.) Should we overlook the fact that Apple used as a reference that it was a “she” who prayed for forgiveness? Why not a “he’? Or even better (because it gets you out of all kinds of trouble), ‘they’?

Exactly who was the ‘she’ who said the prayer? Eve? Magdalene? Madonna? And why was she praying for forgiveness? Why not a Mercedes-Benz? If I knew how to effectively pray, it would be for those who are victims of crimes against humanity which are often women and children. I give you the women in India. But Apple computer’s dictionary suggests ‘she’ prayed for forgiveness’? God, give me a break.

It’s odd that there are so many religiously-based expressions in language. “Your lips to God’s ears” when a person hears a friend or associate say something they hope will come to pass. My grandfather frequently said, “Lord love a duck” yet every autumn he went hunting hoping to shoot them. Heaven help me, what a contradiction.

Allah knows best

Do other faiths have a similar phenomenon? If my grandfather said, “Lord love a duck!” would a muslim say, “Allah love a peacock!”?

“Praise the Lord” is an expression often used most sincerely and in earnest. If a person were to win the lottery, you might hear them exclaim that expression. So that does beg the question: if the person winning the lottery says “Praise the Lord!”, what are millions of people who did not win the lottery saying? Even here you may find a religious reference. Let’s say someone who did not win the lottery was very very close to winning the lottery yet was one scant number was off. What might they say? They might say His name: Jesus Christ. Why? Some might even go further and give Him an expletive for a middle name.

In some moments of stress or danger, some people are inclined to use the word ‘holy’ as an adjective to the slang word for excrement. Why on earth would that be holy? The phrase ‘holy smokes’ is popular yet rarely is it relevant in a literal sense. It will be in the coming days at the Vatican as the cardinals choose a new pope. Black smoke, no decision. White smoke. the choice has been made.

Holy smokes, indeed.